A day in the life of holidays.

Living in Kharghar kinda sucks. Its way too far from all of my friends, but then again, it has its plus points, though right now, the one plus point that makes up for any kind of loss is..a source of loss. I lost something this morning - and I'm never going to get it back. It kinda..sucks. To think 18th April couldn't wait. No, I was not ready!! Makes me feel horrible. And slow. And sluggish. I just don't want to do anything :(
Anyway, went to the beach this morning with my family. It was nice. Place called Nargao. The prawns were yummy ^_^ and there was this cool roti thing made out of rice flour. Oh oh and for the first time in my life, I actually liked eating fish. Go Surmai! :]
Eep and I feel disconnected from college, I have so much work to do! And some of it I don't even know about yet. Just leaving it all for after new years. Which btw reminds me, I have zero new year plans. Nothing whatsoever. Even my antisocial parents have plans. But me? Nuh uh. No plaaans.
Oh god I'm feeling blah. And the reason for my blahness is out fixing a car. Just perfecccct.
-dies-
(until next time)
x

Xxxmas

I'm that lame ^_^.
I'm home! And I'm confused. About certain things. Including me. And certain other things. This doesn't have to make sense but who am I? :( This is frustrating.
Ok I'm done with that. I'm home! And dad went to Nashik today and he'll be back today so I'll get good food (yes, this is indeed the part where my ramblings are just out of having nothing else to say). I played squash and went to the place I was planning to go to ever since..a month back.
Anywhoooo, merry christmas (plum cake and mistletoe <3 :D).
Loves and cookies with milk,
Me.

Ho hum.

Wow. So it's been long. And so MUCH has changed. I'm such a douche when it comes to maintaining this thing properly..but I'm getting back now. Writing is an important part of me and I won't let it go that easy :) but then again, there are things more important to me in my life now. Let's just brief up on everything that's changed so far. List? Ok then. Tada! (and Voila!)

1. Love. Gay mushy love. No more comments.
2. So as per the last post I'm supposed to be in Sophia's, but thankfully, I'm not, I'm in FLAME Pune and I love life here. So far.
3. My parents are getting older - but I feel much more connected to them.
4. My grandparents are getting sicker - but I give them much more attention now, something I should've done a long time back.
   
5. I've gotten so involved in things here (out of choice) that I've neglected things from the past e.g. old friends and my goldfish, oh and writing for a while too. Oops. Sorry blog.
6. I have everything I want. And maybe a little more.
7. I love Uno and those small, wild, khatta meetha berries from stalls on the road.
   
8. I have a lot of new stuff toys: Ee, Nunu, Piglet and Mr. Piggles.
9. My cellphone has an answering machine now.
   
10. I got elected vice-captain of FSLE and captain of my batch (yay me!) but somewhere along the way got totally discouraged. Eh.
11. Little confused about my future.
    
12. Aand finally, GPA last semester, as per my calculations = 9.3! Whee!

Still happy. Still striving. Zest for life a little higher now that IB is over. Christmas holidays going on. Love them. Going back home tomorrow! Can't wait.
Merry Xmas. Though Santa's pretty much an excuse for merriment, and it's perfect :D.
Byebye!

Summmmmer is love.

I got up at 1 today. Well technically I got up at 8:30, but then went back to sleep and got up at 1. So yeah. I love SUMMER! :D It's been so fucking lazy, except during admission time. Oh and I got into Sophia's :). Xaviers was so out of the question. A fucking 91% cut off for us poor non-hsc people :(! That's crazy. Anywho, tomorrow is fee-paying day. So tomorrow I go to Peddar Road and pay up, and then hang out at Hobby Ideas and then stay over at Ridfuck's house <3.
I saw Mere Baap Pehle Aap today. Well not completely, cuz we walked out half way. What a shit movie. I've been doing a LOT these past few days, it's cool :).
I've been dying to learn driving for the past ages! But when it comes down to the moment of getting behind the wheel I just get all freaked out. God. Haha. And I had this whole list of things to do during the vacations and I've done barely any of them. I'll put up a booklist soon - yeahyeah, I made a list of all the things I have to do during the vacations and all the books I have to read :P.
Heh, so a few days ago..dad smelt alcohol on me. Bah! He should know I can control myself when I have to..but surprisingly, he was way cooler about it than I thought he would be. It's nice to know they trust me to be mature enough to take care of myself, cuz I know I can. Yay.
Thinks are pretty happy happy right now, so before this get overtly happy I'm gna go.
Adieu :). And I'll try to keep writing often. It's not that easy considering how sucky my internet connection is! Yeah. So. Bye.

Ha ha.

rendition

n.

3. (also extraordinary rendition) (especially in the US) the practice of sending a foreign criminal or terrorist suspect covertly to be interrogated in a country with less rigorous regulations for the humane treatment of prisoners.

Summmmmmer :D!

So it's been long, and I know I've said it a million times before, but I just keep doing it again and again! Damn :(. So I'm in kharghar now. The place is pretty nice, but then there's the trouble of transport. And I'm listening to Apple Bottom Jeans - come around and I'll give the big booty a SLAM! She hit the floor, next thing you know, shawty got low low low low low low low (8) xD Haha, the lyrics. Last night was retarded, and a tad bit annoying but pretty ok too. Alcohol always makes things interesting :D. It's God's apology for creating boredom in the universe.
So, dad'll be back tonight and I'm going to cook! Ankita's Ash Speciality. Yeah, so, cooking? Not my forte. But I have a muffin mix! I'll bake an ugly muffin =].
Ooh, now Apologize is playing. I love OneRepublic's songs. It sucks that they only got noticed once Timbaland got his hands on them. They were all over Myspace earlier, with a buncha really good songs including Tyrant.
My cellphone has this annoying habit of sorting msgs by reverse month and so, when each month starts, my new msgs go to the bottom of the inbox. Confusing much? Yeah, I guess, but it's not a very nice situation to be in.
I MUST learn driving. Boo :(
Ok now, I must go and do something else. Why? Cuz I can't think of more to say here. Except that scandals are a lot of fun :D.
Byebye.

Rooftops - Lost Prophets

I feel nostalgic when I listen to this song. It reminds me of leaving this school. It's been a good five years, and now it's time to say goodbye. Actually, I've already said goodbye. Graduation was on Sunday night. It was pretty nice. No regrets, just looove. Haha, yeah soppy-ish.
Now I'm sitting at Urvi's place. I've been seeing way too much of it lately. In the evening we run away to Harish's place for his mini social birthday gathering. Hmm. They probably won't have alcohol. We were at Make N' Bake! Haha, we started off by nicely painting this beer mug, and ended up messing it up so bad! Haha, it looked like shit with random words pasted all over it. We corrupted the mug. Hah. More like I did. Bah well. I'm stuffed. And my tummy is HUGE. It's like I'm pregnant. It's weird sitting here alone with Urvi away. I'm in her house without her around. And her mum's currently pissed. In general. Which doesn't help. Bah.
Anywho :) with exams over I have loads of plans and I will follow them. I hope. Considering there're almost 3 months of NOTHINGNESS, I really have to plan something for myself or sit idle the entire day. I will cleanup drive! :D Hah, more on that later.
Hmm, I didn't have much fun writing this post. Maybe cuz I'm out of practice. I don't have broadband in the new house in Kharghar :(. But I do have my own address and entrance and exit from the appartment. Yay!
Ok now I'm gna go read shitty Meg Cabot chick lit. Adieu ^_^.

ARGH.

I hate them both, I cannot believe they'd make me cry so much. Wtf is with this shit man! It's like they're doing this on purpose just to get "back" at me. And then they top it off with "I love youuu" awww, fuck you. God. It's just a bunch of keys! For bloody convenience sake! And it sucks to see that someone can be so untrusted. I can't WAIT to get out of this hellhole. Be it hong kong or any fucking where in this world, I just wanna get the fuck away. I HATE THEM! No matter what I do for them, just cuz they speak louder and fuss MUCH MORE about what they sacrifice doesn't mean that everything I do, quietly, for them should just be ignored. How fucking retarded is this?! And it's worse to have weird tears just streaming down my face. It makes my face go REDDER and I look so stupid! God I feel suffocated. And horrible. And that too on the first day that I don't have any exams to be pissed off with. Why thank you very much for nothing you bitches.

You are the moon, by The Hush Sound

"Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone..

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe..

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise."

It says so much in just so much. It's perfect. Just the lyrics, in themselves, they're just..perfect.

Exam weekends suck

Sometimes the easiest way out is to deny everything, even to yourself..
That's so true.
But I'm going to step out of it.
And the expecting nothing, being happy with everything quasi-resolution's working out. And I like it. I will be that way. It's peaceful. And stops internal conflicts.
Though there are some holes in it, I'll cork them up though. Nope, I won't let you get me. *pokes tongue*
French got over today. Paper 1 was nice, paper 2 was much much better, hopefully it'll pull up my grade and make up for my shitty orals.
Ok that's all! Byea.

"Say what you need to say.."

Biology, English and Chemistry are over for a long long time now.
I will miss them v_v.
They went ok, but English wasn't as nice as I'd want it to be. Chemistry wasn't quite there either. But Biology was pretty good. May the forces of the world come together to get me my 38/42. I want. I want. I waaaaaaaaaant. Please? PLEASE?! Please :(.
Bah. I'm going against my principles. If I want it, I will get it. Me. Only me. Just ME! I must.
Tomorrow is french. *crosses fingers* And then follows Math Paper 3, I hate options, and then Physics HL..all three papers in two damn squeezed up days. *blink, blink* I'm dead meat. Must worrrrk.
Song of the day is Say by John Mayor. I wanna watch The Bucket List. It's the OST of the movie. The lyrics are pretty, they're..overcoming, with a nice repetitive touch to them. Bleh.
Enough. Must go now.

I have decided..

to be an all forgiving and all loving person :D. I will not expect anything, but I will be pretty damn happy about what I get. It's quite the revelation. Haha, let's see how long this quasi-resolution of mine lasts, it's probably going to last as long as this random good mood does.
It's funny how sometimes you get so conditioned to the good things about yourself that you forget they're even there. That's not a good thing. I must stop doing that. "Nobooody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard, I'll take you back to the stars (8)" Yay, my iTunes has good timing! It's much simpler than we make it to be though, no matter what Coldplay says, all you have to do is tryyyyy. I love songs.
Oh and english today was shit btw, I wrote like one of them drugged poets. And the fact that all I wanted to do was go to sleep didn't help either. BUT it wasn't as bad and tragic as it could have been. Oh well, I'm definitely not counting on a 7. Next up is Biology, I hope that's a cruise though I've been a bit over confident about it. I must go study now. Byebye.

It's been..

..a week of exams. Today was chemistry options, and yayy, I guess the all-nighter did pay off :). I knew everythiiing ^_^.
I like papers like that, they didn't even ask the stupid complicated equations with numbers all over the place and stupid elements turning to radicals and alkjdalsjdsoirsadjf.
Ahh well, this is temporary peace. Next up is Eng Lit, and Bio and French, but they're ok. The eeeevil ones are a week after. Pure math and physics! >_<
Besides the exams, I love Grey's Anatomy and Across the Universe and at the rate I'm going I'm never getting over themmmm.
My grandma's being a pain in the ass too. Haww, oh well, must learn to deal. Or avoid. She just ends up following me around everywhere. From room to room. She's leechy. I love her and all that, but blehhh.
I like coke.
I slept for 8 hours in the day instead of the night before the exam.
There is keema for dinner. Times aren't that rough.
I will get through these exams..
somehow.
*poofles*

So far..

Around 5 papers done, but no complete subject's over yet.
Tomorrow is chemistry options, and I is screwed :).
Exams are bitches. The end.

For the Widows in Paradise - Sufjan Stevens

Yep, I'm in that mood. The one where you sit alone, in your own company, thinking just to yourself, about yourself. The one where you put a song on repeat for at least an hour and listen to it till you become one with every tune the song expresses, one with the words, one with the music, till you don't feel yourself anymore, you're just lost in each chord, each rhyme and then maybe somewhere along the way you find peace. I'm annoyed at the uneasiness in me. It doesn't make sense, I don't even know the reason why, even though I always do, I always know what's bothering me..I can always even conjecture..but now, there's nothing..no thoughts that could even do it. It could be the exams but I know it's not..it's something more than that. It's this restlessness in me that's dying to lash out at something, but at the same time it's smothering itself - almost like a cycle, the more I smother it the harder it lashes at me. God am I even making sense? I don't think so..
Fuck all that. So what song is it that's soothing me down? This one..and I know I can go on sitting here, just listening, forever.

"I have called you children
I have called you son
What is there to answer
If I'm the only one
Morning comes in paradise
Morning comes in light
Still I must obey
Still I must invite

If there's anything to say
If there's anything to do
If there's any other way
I'll do anything for you

I was dressed embarrassment
I was dressed in wine
If you had a part of me
Will you take your time?
Even if I come back
Even if I die
Is there some idea
To replace my life

Like a father to impress
Like a mothers morning dress
If I ever make a mess
I'll do anything for you

I have you called you preacher
I have called you son
If you have a father
Or if you haven't one

I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you

I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you.."

You have to listen to it to really know what I mean..
<3.

Rant #20983109283912

"Baby I just can't get around it anymore,
You make me feel like..home is where you are."
Nice song, it just doesn't stop playing in my head over and over and over again. Bethany Joy Lenz has really nice compositions, they suit my voice too :).
My fishes look like cute little golden sperms. Notice the way they're in all my recent posts? I have no life. Yay.
Math is still being an awful bitch, I need to work on it to get my average higherrrrr. Bah, but by pure calculations, I'm currently at an 83.3%, which isn't that bad..but everyone in our school does nothing but live in a rat race. So in order to fit my fat ass into the entire game, I must strive for more. Bah.
So back to the fish. I gave them a bath today - which means I cleaned their fish bowl. God for two tiny little things they sure do shit a lot. Especially considering the size of the pellets they get each day. They're like the dot on the letter i on this blog.
I've been having an overdose of Fresh Prince of Bel Air ever since I got broadband and it's fucking annoying that I've started to think like he talks, you know, the whole wasssup dawg thing. >_< Ack. Oh well, at least he's funny.
My ankle's messed up. And it doesn't stop hurting :(.
I miss everyone from school, but sometimes they make me wonder if they're even worth the trouble. *sigh*
Oh god I feel another pepperoni pizza craving coming up, I must go now. Byebye.

Boo.

Oh god, headache. I hate fucking study leaves. I end up doing shitall work and have these huge headspins. And it doesn't help that I just banged my heel against the bottom of a chair in the process of shifting myself from the chair to the bed. Bah, conclusion of the day: study leaves cause massive body injuries. School's should ban exams.
I'm a cribby crab *scuttles around*. My creativity is really horrible. I'm repeating everything I'm saying to people on msn on this post. Oh well, it's all the same. At least I'm not a plagiarising copycat. Anita Desai on the other hand, is. Though it sucks that it was disclosed. Stupid competitive people from Harvard. They were going to make a movie on Opal Mehta, one of those fun-to-watch, leave-your-brains-aside chick flicks. I love those kind, with popcorn. *cruuunch* But no, the Harvard nerdies had to ruin my movie-watching dreams for me.
What's the most interesting thing in my life nowadays? You mean besides the whole newfounded obsession with The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air? That would be my fish. I love them. I would be pretty upset if they died. I am anticipating it. Why? Cuz most of the sites on goldfish say that they're the easiest pets to lose =(. Stupid fish. [LOVE]
HAHA. I love Salad Fingers. Archit just linked me their first episode. He finds rusty spoons orgasmic. How lovely ^_^. You HAVE to watch it. You'd either get extremely repulsed or love it, like I do. http://www.fat-pie.com/salad.htm.
Anywho, that's all for now. I should get back to doing what I do best.
*gone*

Pipsqueak and Pooch are the shit! What would we do without puns?

Belated happy birthday to me. *has a mini e-celebration on her blog*
Ok we're done here, wrap it up.
Pshaw, exams are mean whores..I have mine in 15 days and I just HAD to be born bang in the middle of the study leave. Oh well, all's well that ends well. Even if that makes no sense in context. I'm still quoting! *takes credit anyway*
I got..an acoustic guitar. I will learn to play it and I will finally compose. I got FISHES! So here's a shoutout to my homies from the fishbowl. O_o I mean..this is for my adorably clueless dumbfuck-thinkalike fishes :) who I've named Pipsqueak and Pooch. I like birthdays. And the cake was yummilicious. Rimjhim forgot my birthday. She will burn in hell. God will see to that! *says the atheist*
Anywho, how's exam preparation? I am not answering that question so too bad.
I still love Cyanide and Happiness. Why am I saying this? Because in the middle, I'd randomly completely lost interest. And now I'm back on it like the addict that I am.
We had our farewell last Friday. And then the after party at Prive, which was prrretty interesting. The juniors did an amazing job with it, skit and everything and they deserve as much, if not more, applaud than my fishes :O, and that's saying something.
Hmm, except that my fishes shit a lot, and don't start screaming ew like a constipated pink bitch when I say this, but they kinda..eat their own shit O_O.
There's a lot more to say here. But some things are better left unsaid.
I am so done with this post! And if you're on of those silent stalking readers, who REFUUUSE to leave comments, just..have a semi-prayer *if not a full one* for me in your heads so that I don't fail that miserably in my exams. Thank you. Bye.

I ripped off my facebook favourite quotes :)

"It's only in the black of nights you see the stars, and those stars lead you back home.."

"Because it's not fair to love you in chains.."

"If the silence takes you
Then I hope it takes me too
So brown eyes I hold you near
Cause you’re the only song I want to hear
A melody softly soaring through my atmosphere.."

"Stay with me, lay with me
Lean on me, call on me
Run with me, dream with me
Pray with me, fall on me
Whenever you need me
I'll be by your side
As sure as the sun's gonna rise.."

"Fake your laughter
Burn the tear
Sing it louder
Twist and shout.."

"Something inside says it's easier
To push you away but stay and
Hold on love
Even when I cry all night
Even when I swear I don't love you
Just hold on love.."

"The things that we don't comprehend
Are laughing at my mind again..
Sometimes things that you ignore
Are all the things I'm looking for..
Portraits of your loved ones
Are more than what you see
All the elements they capture
Are more to you than me
A different dimension we've yet to define
There's a forest to cut through with thorns and vines
There is no reason not to try.."

"All I know of love is that love is all there is."

"To call for hands of above
To lean on
Wouldn't be good enough
For me, no.."

It's official. My family is insane. There's a grand canyon between our flow of thoughts. I hate this shit.

Peppermint = love.

Mmm, so the mommy-hatred is pretty much past tense. She always manages to work me up. How annoying. She shouldn't be allowed to get to me like that! Bah. >_<
I just had a cute little one hour math session :), it's nicer like that. I love peppermint cigarettes. Haha, the name of the brand is Phantom. And they have these random did-you-know facts on the boxes. Did you know that the Nile is 6759 kms long, making it the longest river in the world? Well, Phantom sweet cigarettes sure did. That's how smart they are. There's this other box that has a find the difference game on it. And along the side of the box it says "Play game and enjoy!" Haha, I love Indian brands.
Meh, funny boxes with amazing candy in them aside, life's annoying me. Applications are messing my brain up. My family is really not letting me do what I want. I would love to work with my dad for his business, but there's this part of me that feels that I'm letting go off my own dreams for his, rather I'm letting go of the dreams I have for myself for the dreams of us together, O_o too dreamy yeah? Ugh. I want to do psychology. I swear to god I'm going to transfer to friggin' SMU and get that double degree. Maybe the extra years will help in getting my mind unmuddled. For now though, I have mega huge exams to tackle, with monstrous math. Thankfully I have yummy peppermint cigar thingies to tickle my sweet tooth :]. I've already eaten three of them while writing this.
*runs off, still munching on yumsticks*

Just one stupid

The calm after the storm. My moods better now. Hopefully she's not going to do it again. There is residual anger but it'll subside eventually. Thankfully dad didn't go crazy over the tattoo. Oh well, fuck everything. *grrs*

STUPIDSTUPIDSTUPID

Mum = stupid. And yes, I'd use way stronger words if I could. Why is she such a..a..*BAD WORD HERE*?! Aaaargh, who DOES that? HOW can someone who's lived such a friggin' long ass 40+ years life not know the basic concept of trust? Stupid woman. It's not about what she says, it's about the fact that she EVEN says it, no matter what the reason, you're just NOT supposed to do such stuff. Why doesn't she have the brains enough to understand when to stfu?
Godddd. Fuck. Here's to never letting her know anything at all. This better make her happier. @#%$@*$)#@$#.
Argh. I'M TOO PISSED TO SAY BYE.

It's your day today, whee.

Ooop, I just noticed the date on the top of my post. It's April's Fools day! How nice. I did nothing to fool anyone, and nobody fooled me. And neither did anyone around me bother fooling anyone else. How fun. I did however eat yummy dragon chicken. God, at the rate I'm going I'm gna end up having to get liposuction done. Anywhooo, good day to all the fools out there, maybe the world's playing a joke on me and it's actually not April's Fools day after all. Or is that thinking too much?

Happy April's Fools day!

Yay. xx *runs away*

Heaaaaaaaadspinny.

So as usual blogger has decided to feel extra hungry and has successfully gobbled all a major chunk of my blog. This lazy bum isn't going to bother doing it all over again and isn't even going to inform you of what was in there, it's all random ranting anyway. There's Mika playing and it's disgusting. I must change the song. Yay. Jack off Jill now, American made. Me like.
I'm currently undergoing major headspin, there's so much I haven't done yet..like math..I have past papers and stupid catching up to do. I'm going to sleep way early today. But before that I really need to do a past paper. Oh god. I can't do so much! I can'tttttt, my heaaaaaaad. *dies*
God, if only I got a penny (or ruppee) for each time I've died in this blog, I'd use all my money to live somewhere far far away from any NUMBER in sight. Yucksome.
The unidentified ant/mosquito hickeys on my feet are getting really annoying. And I want to take off my lenses.
I'm getting worried now, not only for all subjects other than math, but for college applications. Everyone's getting in everywhere and it's annoying me cuz I know my deadlines and application dates are later but it's still scary to have so many people around you getting into places, and knowing exactly where they're heading when you have no clue, and the only place you've applied and gotten into is a place you'd only go to if every other university was bombed and exploded to bits. *sigh* there are NO cute guys there, but that's not what I want from college! Ahhh. *dies* yeah, there I go again, dying out on this shitface of a blog.
I'm really getting annoyed writing here now, I sometimes have this annoying tendency of working myself up over crap and then I start typing really hard and I might just rip my laptop's keypad apart. That won't be nice now would it? Especially considering it's my lifeline. Ok enough now, this is getting too long, and way too serious for my liking. Farewell's coming up. I need a dress. Yuck. *dies again*
OMG, bye al-fucking-ready.

The day before fool's paradise

Yeah, so what're my plans for the big day? Go to school for the 9th last time as a school girl in my LIFE. Whee! Talk about fun. A few people got together and made a year book for our entire batch and its reaally good :D. Me is happy cuz my page is the bomb <3.>that! Eh. Shut up. I was saying..math is a bitch and a half. I have no idea how I'm going to manage a damn seven. It's unfair the way they don't give us a second type II portfolio. Bitches. MEGABITCHES. Grr. I will kill them. Oza has a huge ass. It's ok though, Tarini still loves him.
I'm done here. School's still annoying and agonisingly irritating. There are the last few days left and I'm going to be sad that it's all over. Five years. All done. Teartearsniffsniff and all that. Here's to graduation :D. Byebye.

*SIGH!*

Right. So. I don't get the deal with parents. To think that with 17 years of practice I wouldn't have some knowledge of how to figure them out. They're so crabby and..and..icky. >_<
My phone was confiscated for a day. Just a day. What are they trying to do?! It's so confusing. They're full of mixed signals. "You just need to want it, then you'll get it." and then next second, "Oh, wanting isn't enough!" Now wtf am I supposed to make of that? Forget that even. Even if I let that go there's the entire issue of the pointlessness of screaming. Fear of those..eeeevil parents of mine is not going to make me do my work, I don't get why instead of putting in so much energy into screaming, why can't they channel all of it into helping. Help how you might say? Just be there. Make sure I'm doing my work. Don't just punish me when I don't. There's a difference between being a good parent and a hard working one. Unfortunately mine don't know the difference.
Urgh. Whatever. I'm sitting in school right now. In the middle of the LC and its cold. And doing math isn't that warming. I'm loaded with 2 hours worth of just homework. It's like she thinks we're machines. So I'll just say *sigh* again. This rant is going to end now cuz I'm poff. Pfffffft xP.

Oh yeah

I forgot,

HAPPY GOOD FRIDAY!

even though I don't really give much of a shit about this festival :)

What I want

I want so much out of life. It's crazy how fast I can name so many things I want to do. But out of them, today, I can pick exactly what I want. It's not concrete, but I want to set up my dad's dreams with him. Everyday he'd come back home and tell me all about what he's done throughout the day, he'd treat me like an adult and share his ideas and give much more than just a shit about my opinions on them, sometimes even pull them out of me, unintentionally of course, all of which just make me relive his experiences, in a subtle kinda way. I want to do exactly what he does, but with more independence and with more control. What made me decide? It was simple. Sunderban. The rich and flourishing delta of West Bengal. The place where despite the abundant resources there's poverty - a lot of poverty. The place where the price of land speaks for itself - almost Rs 2.5 per square foot in comparison to Mumbai's Rs 6000+, but those are just facts, facts that point towards what I want to do. Facts that scream into my head saying if an area that has so much richness to offer has such poverty, the rest of India's suffering in the same way, probably worse. I want to travel around India and experience the pain of all the people in my country and help them, through my dad's dreams. I want to go back and touch the primitive state the people in this country live in. I want to share their hopes and understand their thoughts. I want to do so much it's annoying O_o. And so I'm listening to Living Darfur, by Mattafix, an amazing song, that's going to help me keep my current hyper feeling alive enough so that I actually get to what I want. *fingers crossed* I'm out. Byebye.

This is going to sound cliched..

But I would die without music. It's my pill and solution to everything, along with the reason I feel alive. A bit much I suppose? Yeah, but it's true. I was feeling pretty low and stupid for no particular reason and the second I turned the volume up it was all gone. The sounds just crawl under my skin and spread serenity right through me, from head to toe. So yay to music and everything it does to me. Nothing will ever compare.
And speaking of comparisons, why does everything, and I mean everything have to be about comparison? If everyone would just take things the way they are and not try to over analyse them - just accept instead of constantly trying to rank how good something is, life would be much much better. But oh well, people will be people, the world's still going round right?
Hmm, so today was a bomb, I got up late and did nothing ^_^. I love holidays. Math is still swamping me over, I'm blinded by the overdose of it all. Eugh. *hurl*
I still LOVE Grey's Anatomy. Season 2 has twenty fucking seven episodes! Yay. *excitement*
So that's all for today. Alohaaa. *dances around in a grass skirt*

Hello, says the procrastinator.

So here I am, in the whole rigmarole of making excuses again. Which I said I won't do, but I am going to anyway - I was busy. With final submissions. And then having enough fun to make up for the torturous moments of the final submissions. Anywho, I'm here now so you may as well cherish the moments I'm spending here. Or words I'm typing here, whichever way you want to put it. Used the bus today after a long while, went to town and figured I had no other way of getting back home. I saved 190 Rs. And I'm not even maadu.
Blubface and I finally started to watch Grey's Anatomy and finished season one. I love the theme song - Nobody knows. It's stuck in my head right now.
Saw 27 Dresses too, it's nice, in a sick gay manner, yeah it's nice.
And tomorrow I shall see Juno. I hope I like it.
Did I mention that math has taken over this ongoing mid term break of mine? I have a timetable that rigorously covers the entire portion and I've somehow managed to follow it so far, let's see how lucky I continue to be henceforth.
I got a 6 in all my subjects, and that too without studying, except math. Which is unbelievable because I actually love math. That's proof #1 for how twisted the world is, and I assure you that list of proofs goes on to at least a billion.
I love writing poems. It's a nice way of handling my emotions. Someone commented on one of them and made me realise that I suck at emotions. I'm fucking horrible at them, and by them I mean my emotions, somehow I end up being really good with others' emotions. Eh, I confuse myself. And writing somehow helps in organising some of the messes in my head. But that's ok right? Yeah it is.
That's my ramble for today. I'll try to be regular. I need to be regular. Writing is good mind-organisation, yepyep ^_^. Byeo.

Erm..blehh #2?

It's a lazy Saturday afternoon and I'm home alone, but I have nooo idea when my parents are gna be back so let's see how this lazy Saturday ends up. Hmm, here's another song I love. Death Cab for Cutie. Weird name, I need to look up why it's called that.

Love of mine some day you will die
But I'll be close behind
I'll follow you into the dark

No blinding light or tunnels to gates of white
Just our hands clasped so tight
Waiting for the hint of a spark
If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

In Catholic school as vicious as Roman rule
I got my knuckles bruised by a lady in black
And I held my tongue as she told me
"Son fear is the heart of love"
So I never went back

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark

You and me have seen everything to see
From Bangkok to Calgary
And the soles of your shoes are all worn down
The time for sleep is now
It's nothing to cry about
Cause we'll hold each other soon
The blackest of rooms

If Heaven and Hell decide
That they both are satisfied
Illuminate the NOs on their vacancy signs

If there's no one beside you
When your soul embarks
Then I'll follow you into the dark
Then I'll follow you into the dark


Uh huh, must get back to chemistry lab report now. I have been lost to the dark side. I want to go to goa again =[. Sigh. *poofs*

Blehh.

That goes for lack of originality, note: title. The world sucks. I have nothing against it, but it seems to have a bit too much against me. I am soooo demotivated. I really don't want to work towards French anymore, to think I actually liked her. Quite the hypocrite isn't she? Ah well, let's see how it goes tomorrow. I can't do nothing but sit and work it out right now. I cannot believe I'd ever say this, but I wish sarcasm didn't exist. It just makes things worse, especially from the mouths of certain venomous people. Egh. Graduation. Or the end of this week. Whatever man, I don't care, just get it done with.
So this is me. Running off after another short post, trying to bind everything that's falling apart together. Next time I write, you'll know how the story ended. Let's make it sound more dramatic shall we? It'll either be shards of shattered glass, or a strong held up combination of everything. Or both. Oh god. *stops thinking* Bye.

Hello there.

Yeah, long time. Again. Henceforth I'm not going to bother regardless of how long it's been since I've written here. I'm annoyed with myself more than anything, or anyone else, and I want it to go away. If only I wasn't such a procrastinator and escapist.
"You don't know me, and you don't wear my chains."
Lovely lines, those. Anywho, I have my french orals day after and I have preparation to do. I wish I could bitch about Rojoa, but I'd say the same thing. It's not his fault, it's just that he isn't dealing with things the right way. I dislike his attitude, but it's my fault I guess. Eh, and it sucks when you lose things. Including your sanity. And people's trust. Bah. Well, I have a teddy bear, a stupid breadman, a little teddy bear and tweety on my desk giving me company while I drown in paperwork. Oh hoot, bye.

Erm?

Yeah, so it's been ages since I've written, but I have reasons! Even though I can actually do whatever I want, it IS my blog you know. Buuut, I've had stupid exams. I've killed myself 16 times and miraculously, and unfortunately, survived, I've gone to Goa and had an amazing time, met new people :P, done a lot of crap, gotten to know things I'd be happy without knowing and generally been busy. Did I also mention I've been procrastinating writing up here for a long while? Yeah, well, that too.
So today's philosophical bullshit comprises of me thinking about certain people and how they keep..friend hopping. Honestly, it should become a way more commonly used expression instead of pub hopping. And I don't get it, how can you be so close to someone one second and skip away to someone else the next? Call it good networking, or call it being adaptable, I call it hypocrisy, cuz each time you "hop" you leave a part of you, and you change. It's too much changing, and you end up losing yourself in the midst of all the people around you. Your opinions transform, and adapt to the people around you. I can see it happening, I saw it ever since it started. Psshhh well, it doesn't concern me, I'm just bitching ^_^.
I have my english orals, and my french orals coming up. Screwed! I must go and work towards them. This update was the shittiest I have ever written - just goes to show I'm out of practice, if that's possible. Ooh I bought loads of yellow orchids for the house. They're pretty. I like. Red roses suck.
Anywho, ciao. x

Damn. If I wrote a book on me, I'd name it "What not to do during exams"

Bah. Cuz I'm doing exactly that. What I'm not supposed to do. Ok, not completely, my papers have gone ok so far, but I still get annoyed in the middle and my mind wanders off to better happier things like the Maiden concert, or loads of money, or or..Lauren Harris in leather pants. Yeah, life's not beautiful. Like that movie name Life is beautiful, quite the paradox cuz the movie's actually about how ugly life is, so I like the movie - it's truthful, unlike the happy ending soppy other movies, which I still like anyway. News Flashhhh! I've realised that I'm not that extreme when it comes to liking something. I'm not a hyper obsessed freak and I don't know a lot about just one particular thing. It's just that when I don't like something, well I really really don't. But that passes away too. =]
I can't decide which one's better, Maiden or Metallica..it's so annoying, ever since someone asked me which one I liked better, I've been thinking about it and..there's just no answer. It's like 0 raised to 0, there is just NO friggin' answer >_<.
Dad got me, wow here I go on about dad again, so annoying, well he got me this really pretty necklace and this cute Pandaaaaa! The necklace is amazing <3, and the Panda's actually a big Panda holding a little one. They've been named Yin and Yang. Pay respect to them, they deserve it. And if you don't..then..suffer from the wrath of the PandaPair!
My hair's wet. That can definitely not be good considering the temperature. And I'm eating sweet n sour berry things, which will kill my throat. Perfect. Let's just make my condition better for the four papers I have to give tomorrow. The things I do to myself.
Turn the page. Ciao x

This one's short.

Meh. Hello. I'm here after a buncha days. Thankfully. Exams. Yuck. I'm fucking scared and..erm, yeah scared. Tomorrow's math, totally synonymous to my death in extremely torturous conditions. So let's see how it goes, if I ever post again you'd know if I get out of it alive.
Friday was fucking awesome \m/. English paper went well. I mugged up a tonne of literary features and threw them in wherever I could :D. So that was good, but bleh, everything else is going to go so bad. Anywho, this one has to be short, my parents have this tendency to stop me from doing anything I like. So adios. <3

Moo point! <3

After a point, lenses get annoying. They're making me squint and feel strange. Or maybe it's just the fact that I'm straining my eyes so much by glaring into a computer screen or mobile display so much. Oh blah. Haha, as far as the title's concerned, I love Joey. That guy is such a friggin' dork. Everything he says makes me wanna laugh ^_^. A cow's opinion. It just..doesn't matter. Haha. Yay FRIENDS.
I had my french orals today. They sucked. Totally expected. I'm not, yes I repeat, I'm not, excited about Maiden. I hate myself. But mostly, I hate exams. It's all their fault that the 1st of February scares the shit outta me cuz just a few days away from that date, are when the mocks start. Omg die die. Our school is stupid. Not the school, but the system and the way it's designed. But I can't complain, it's just tough to keep up that's all.
Today was a waste. I went to school for the orals and ended up in Subway sitting and munching on roast chicken breast salad with coke and lays. Yes my chemistry book was open in front of me, and no I did not read more than two lines, both of which I forgot immediately after reading them.
Bah, some of my friends from MIS are getting their farewells and it seems so strange to think about the day when I would never, ever have to go to school again and when the entire life I've lived for the past 5 years wouldn't be the same. Makes me sad :(. Aww. But there's still time so I'm going to save the extra mush for later, in May.
My new name is Yeepie. I love the sound of it. Try saying it. It feels nice rolling off your tongue =].
You know how overhearing people's conversations makes you come to conclusions about them? I'm not the kind to listen in on a conversation, but this one made me think of this person as more and MORE of a fucking leech. I mean how LEECHY can you get?! Eugh. I hate him ^_^.
Ok enough. I must go read Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Dead and write about the different themes I see in them. First exam is English, yepyep.
Until next time, byebye.

Crap. There're only ten minutes left. And I love you!

Yes, it's another one of the special one's birthdays today, and me being the lazy procrastinator, have waited till the last minute to write this up. Omg I have to hurry to make it to the deadline and I MUST put it up during the 27th of January >_<. So, Kirtika, KC, Kitty, blah de blah. My favourite being her actual name cuz the rest just make her seem either like a meowing pussycat, or some cool "yo" DJ. DJ KC. Haha, the sound of that is funny. Anyway, this chick hawwt, this chick nasty, this chick rocks maaaa sawwwwks. Yuck. Rephrase, she's awesome <3. standard ="].">

She's smart. Physics. Fucking hell, I'm like one of those n00bie lost idiots and there she is discussing all kinds of einstein worthy things that make me feel like a brainless nitwit, which is not a good thing, but the fact that your smart is :P.

She's hawt. Oh yeah, she's tall and she's hawt. She will make you want to craaaave for a piece.

She's fun! She deals with my randomness the way it comes and unlike many people I know, she accepts it and either joins in or laughs it off. Stop laughing it off loser! Joining in makes life funner. <3u.

We love Mr. Pande! HE'S MINE, obviously, but since she loves him too, she's cool and has good choice in tv-on-their-tummy-less teletubbies.

She won't take shit from no one. No one at all. Not even me. You go girl! Wheee.

She goes RED when I talk about a certain something. Haha, you know what I'm saying. How long did it last?! You're so blushing right now. <3.

She loves me. Oh yes she does.

I'm having an affair with her. Hopefull Nimisha will not read this.

She's my strengthee partner! You get shot put, I get discus xD!

This is number ten in the list. Yes, that's what I love about her. The fact that this list is lasting up to number ten.

She's a nerd-like, non-nerd. :D.

She makes me hot :O.

She loves me. Oh yes she does. (7 and 13 are unlucky numbers. No that is not relevant.)

I'm bored of this list. And we both love POOKIE!

I love you man. Enough of this list now. You're probably getting bored reading it now.

Yeah. So, everything included, you're great to have around, and I'm thinking of when you won't be around and when you'll be coming up with some scientific theory in some corner of the MIT building with loads of your nerdy scientist friends around you, and it makes me sad. I will miss you and our hot nights a lot :(. I love you much much, even if I don't say it much. <3

Deletion! Damnations.

How dare blogger randomly delete a part of my post?! No, I did not write the post before this like that on purpose, it just hungrily gobbled a whole chunk of my post. I BET it was yummy. All of my posts are. That's why blogger ate it. Cannibalistic! Electronical stuff eating other electronically written stuff. I am not repeating what I wrote. Too bad. You just get to miss out on bits of my life. Boy are you missing on stuff.
OH OH OH. I finally found out what the gingerbread man that came free with the shrek happy meal from McDonald's says! He goes "Don't worry!" first, which I figured out all by my smart self, and then it says "Not my gumdrop buttons!" And erm, yeah, I had to use google for it. Sue me. Fffs.
Hahaha, and today I came across this random guy on orkut, who hunts for girls his age to talk to. Oh it was hilarious. He ran away when I told him what my age was ^_^. Yeah, he was probably looking for what every guy on orkut does. I wonder what the legal age limit for sex in India is anyway? Hmm. And I wonder why suing for underage sex happens only in the USA, funny country that. Stanford's there. I'm going to go to Stanford eventually. Ohhh yes I will. You can't stop me, mainly because you're just a blog. Wait, when I say "you" I'm not quite sure who I'm addressing, sometimes it's the blog, sometimes just nobody, and sometimes it's the person reading. Ah go figure.
The cats downstairs are so bloody annoying! They're wailing like a buncha babies with lack of spankings and dirty diapers, all at once =/. Ooh they're quiet now. There they go again, I just had to jinx it. My pencil desperately needs sharpening. And I need to get a lead pencil, considering that I have three cute little mini-boxes of pencil lead, but not a single working lead pencil. My world is suddenly falling apart.
No. Not really. It's hanging by a bark of wood, that needs constant supply of lignin. The lignin is a metaphor for TLC :D. So gimme love, which is tender and caring. Thank you.
Sheep are cute. And on that fluffy note, I must depart. Bye.

Shoot your gun

Oh, baby, won't you cry <3. here ="/." style="font-style: italic;">nowhere, this old man started screaming at me from across the road. I was on the phone, cuz walking on the road alone and doing nothing is my least favourite thing in the world, and he screams, "Hey! Young laddyyyy, keep your phone safe, someone will come and rob it and run away!" Reaction #1: Wtf old man?! Reaction #2: Yes, thank you for your concerns. And then he says it again like I'm the one all old and saggy and deaf so Reaction #3: *blank stare* *walk away*. To think there would be a limit to serving others, here's a guy creeping the hell out of poor little creatures like me, who walk on the road on a cold winter day minding their own business and doing no harm. Unless you consider the bacteria around me. I'm a murderer :D.
That's all folks, I must go sharpen my knives - comes to a point when even flesh can make it blunt.
*Sigh* byebye.

Maroon5 and a day out with lyrics.

"It's not always rainbows and butterflies. There are bunnies too. And some jackrabbits. You know what they're good at!"
Someone extremely funny and amazing said that. And it made me laugh. And that person then looked like a deranged lunatic. No you're not going to understand this.
There's Princess Diaries coming on television. And it's just playing - no one's watching it. Mum's cooking and I'm busy typing about the most irrelevant crap ever known to man =/.
Things are way better at home nowadays. Mr. MuffinMan from McDonalds, the one from Shrek, and Mr. SmallUnnamedStuffToy are sitting in one corner of my desk looking adorable. My iPod is suddenly looking pretty fat, especially in comparison to the new "5th" generation ones. Everything around me is cluttered. My dad hates that. How dare he. It's me expressing my messy creativity! Pfft.
Yuck. There's some extra sweet coated with sugar song playing on TV, what a waste of listening. And electricity. And typing too. God the sheer pointlessness of everything is annoying me.
I used to have a dog once. A Labrador named Chikita. Why Chikita? Cuz she was chocolate brown in colour and her name had to be like mine =]. She walked with such a swing, weird for a dog. She was so cute ^_^. I want a kitten now. No one gives me any kittens! =[
Today I did a lot of math. Or tried to. I'm getting increasingly scared about my coming exams. And I keep trying to do anything but preparing. Bah. It's not like I haven't done shit all, but still not good enough. Our school's pretty fucked up too that way. Which school, in their senses, would dump a tonne of assignments on you just days before the mocks?! Ours. Yep. DAIS. One of the most reputed schools in Mumbai. Screw them. Bah, humbug. Me sheep. You Jane? O_o.
This is going to end up weird.
Exeunt.

Just another day.

Yep, except that my exams are closer, that I'm applying to Hong Kong, and that I'm going to fail! I fear being rejected really. I've tried to pretend to not care, but secretly (or not so secretly) inside, I know that if I'm rejected I would feel like a complete and total loser. My grades are horrible :(. Bah! Whatever. Anywho, it's for business anyway, and I'm more into psychology. But I could do both too. Ahhh, screw this. I'm gna apply to FLAME. They better want me cuz I secretly (yes, secretly again) love them! ^_^
Haha, I'm looking at *someone*'s pictures on facebook and it's hilarious how they're so ugly and everyones comments are about how they look amazing. Funny how so many things revolve around perception. In fact everything runs around perceptions. Omg. It's like every word that's uttered from my mouth comes back around to TOK. Daaamnit! >_<
I think mum's home. And I did two hours of grueling math. Enough to make my brain feel like a fried omlette, the spoilt one that got thrown in with the trash right next to the stinky, half eaten apple. Oh god I think I've spelt omlette wrong. If it's wrong then, erm, I owe my blog an apology. And if not, then my brain owes me an apology for confusing me. =/ Wtf am I on?!
God. Bye.

I was just telling someone..

..how the letters D and F are the hottest letters in the alphabet. And it's true. Without those two sound everything would sound so soft and feeble. They're like thunderous words that dramatise each word that they come in. DDDDD <3 FFFFF! <3.
If that didn't make sense, it's fine, I don't expect it to neither did I intend it to. By Friday, I plan on finishing my personal statement and my TOK essay (Final first draft) and finishing revising chemistry. Yep, it's a lot but I'm going to try and do it. Yuck. I'm not looking forward. Then again, Big Audacious Goals says someone I respect, though sometimes that someone baffles me. I don't understand the lack of communication between us, it's so apparent from the way each of our discussions end up. Maybe he should stop trying to be my friend, or maybe he should decide what role he plays in my life for sure. It's so annoying how when it comes to certain things it's almost like I have to pretend to like him. It kills me inside =/, but it's just how I feeeeel. Ok enough emotional rambling, there's been a lot of it recently >_<. Argh IB!
Tomorrow's sports day and so I get a day off :D. So tomorrow I can finish everything I need to. Hopefully.
Oh and I've stopped wearing lenses to school. Weird decision, but I just have. Also, I love onion pakodas, even though they taste a LOT more like potato than onion.
Later. Me. xx

Venting. Venting. VENTING!

OH GOD! People need to understand that I'm not always just a smiling face. No, there are parts of me that nobody understands well enough. Yeah, the first impression may be misleading..another happy, self-confident person, but behind that there are insecurities that I'm just beginning to realise. No, it's not some enlightening nirvana-obtaining crap, it's everything happening around me. I try so hard to just be..happy. But everytime I am, there's just something else that I lack that comes jumping back at me, taking it all away. Ofcourse I have my moments of absolute bliss, but why can't they be permanent? People moving away, self-motivation, people misunderstanding anything you say, inability to express yourself properly. It's all such a fucking mess. I wish everything would just stand still for a while so that when the next thing comes my way, I'm standing straight rather than just picking myself up. Or rather, I wish people would just take me as I am, incomparable, not point out everything wrong and just see the part of my glass that's full, and maybe just find..that when they look hard enough, it's not just full, it's full to the brim.

Fuck.

I'm going to start off by saying..no, I don't feel good. I feel horrible in fact. And I don't get what I did wrong enough to be treated unlike other people. Just because my supervisor wasn't as understanding as others why do I get screwed? And what is wrong with the school! I'm IN school and they don't even bother looking for me before calling up my dad. How senseless. It's not like I didn't finish it, I had it ready for them..all he ended up doing was causing havoc at home and making my dad, and me, feel like shit. Fucking bastard. I swear if I ever come across him in my life in a non-schooling atmosphere, I'm gna slit his wrists with the bluntest, most rusted blade I can find. I hate him. Haaaate him. Hate him.
So, I'm going to end off by saying..no, I don't feel good. I feel fucking horrible and ill-treated in fact.

Does it suck that I don't have a title?

Heh, that's a full-fledged oxymoron right there, cuz you know..it is a title, just that it says that there isn't a title, but it actually is a title even though it says that it isn't a title..and so on and so forth in a chain that goes on to infinity like the limit of a harmonic series. Fucking hell, math high. Random conversation time!

Blubby: I'm baaack! I had soup =]
Ankie: No. You're living in denial.
Blubby: Huh?
Ankie: In actuality, the soup had you for dinner.

That, my friends, is a clear example of what TOK does to your head. But this time, it wasn't TOK. It was boredom. Maybe that means TOK = boredom. Makes sense to me. Maybe that's why there's so much yawning during TOK sessions. I hate the fact that I've typed the T-word so many times so from now on, it's not "T**" it's the T-word. That's also pretty pointless cuz I'm pretty sure I'm never going to use the T-word again. Yuck. What a bad chain of thought.
I had sev puri, and noodles, and I'm stuffed. My eyes feel really heavy too, cuz of sitting on the computer for so long just doing EE, or maybe it's the lenses, who knows. My good deo's over. The blue nike one. Now there's the horribly strong smelling pink one left. Mosquitoes still suck and I'm thinking of way too many things to pen them all down right now, so I'm going to take my whirlwind of thoughts to a little corner and murder them with a spork.
Love, Me. And boy are you lucky to be getting my love. Yeah, bye.

You gotta love Cyanide&Happiness <3

Episode One
RandomGuy: Hey Obese Maurice! How was your flight from Cancun?
FatDude: Terrible! They charged me for two seats, man!
RandomGuy: Are you serious? That's so unfair!
FatDude: =[ If I'd known hookers counted as people I wouldn't have even brought her with me!

Episode Two
LittleKid: Let's play the rhyming game, daddy!
LittleKid: Daddy, daddy, his head is so fat, it'll be years 'til his son's is like that!
TheDad: Actually son it won't happen at all, because from my semen you didn't evolve.
LittleKid: ........
TheDad: -smug-
LittleKid exits (and probably kills himself).
TheDad: -still smug-

hahaha. Yeah, that kinda thing tickles my funny bone. Along with a lot of other nonsensically mean crap :D.

And so the countdown begins..

Ten days left. For THE exams of my life. Or at least the exams that everyone around me treats like they're the end of the world. Maybe they are though, for me too, ack who am I kidding, they're scaring me to death. And if I don't do well in these, I might end up in some college in the third worldest parts of a third world country with ghaati, "yo" people all around me, who love Eminem, Backstreet Boys and Nsync, make tattooes look horrible, put on flashy, red, in-your-face lipstick, talk about how their boyfriends didn't buy them the fake-gold chain with the BFF pendant on feb 14th, and wear bling like diamonds are the only thing in fashion =/. Brr, that's..nothing lesser than scary, the exams seem more inviting than that >_<. Fuck. Only two weeks. And maiden too. My parents are not going to be too appreciative about me going for that concert, but oh well, that's not a bargainable deal at any cost, especially since yours truly is getting a free ticket which completely turns on my sindhi side =].
Ok, changeover time, so last night I had a conversation with someone and it made me want to do something that I didn't think I had the capacity to do anymore, well I knew I could do it but nobody had pointed it out in a long long time. Sometimes when people around you are more open about their talents, you tend to get hidden behind the screens. Yes, I'm not mentioning what it was on purpose, though it seems pretty obvious now. And then comes along one person to make you feel way better. I'm pretty sure who I'm talking about has no idea about how much it meant to me, but well yay to them!
Fresh indian bread, or pao, is the most amazing thing to ever exist, said the hyperbole. No but it's true, it's yummmmmy. No preservatives whatsoever. And that's also why they harden so quick.
Anywho, I need to get back to TOK. If you don't know what that is consider yourself lucky, and if after reading this and you don't know it, you're going to look it up, well..come share my misery.
Adieu fair world, for the work of a million soldiers beckons me to my desk.

Updaaaaaaate

Guess who is finally DONE with a huge 4000 word essay. God, like finally. It's not absolutely complete yet, but there are only minor more changes to be made after feedback from my supervisor. Life seems sprinkled with chocolate coated gummy bears right now, especially cuz I ate pizza. <3
So, the essay was about the transcendentalist nature of Alice Walker's poetry. And it was fun to write, along with being a pain in the ass.
And this is going to be short cuz I'm fucking tired and I need my sleep.
Adios.
Ps. I won gold in discus throw. Jubi-fucking-lations.
BYE.

What fun :)

Yeah fucking right.
And if that doesn't look like a hurricane and a running stick figure, then just pretend already.
*dies*

I don't feel so good =/

And so I put this one song on repeat. Music helps fill the emptiness I feel sometimes. God bless Snow patrol.

"I find the map and draw a straight line
Over rivers, farms, and state lines
The distance from here to where you'd be
It's only finger-lengths that I see
I touch the place where I'd find your face
My finger in creases of distant dark places

I hang my coat up in the first bar
There is no peace that I've found so far
The laughter penetrates my silence
As drunken men find flaws in science

Their words mostly noises
Ghosts with just voices
Your words in my memory
Are like music to me

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

After I have travelled so far
We'd set the fire to the third bar
We'd share each other like an island
Until exhausted, close our eyelids
And dreaming, pick up from
The last place we left off
Your soft skin is weeping
A joy you can't keep in

I'm miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms

And miles from where you are,
I lay down on the cold ground
And I, I pray that something picks me up
And sets me down in your warm arms."

And no, it's not the lyrics I love, it's the song. <3
I feel a little better already :).

Beware of sentimentality. It tends to sting.

Our rapacious teachers decided to be ultra mean to us today, so we stayed back in school to do CAS reflections. Pain in the ass yeah, but I got work done. So after it dad comes and gets me from Subway, the place we always go to after school, and we're on our way back home when he gets a huge hunger attack. No this post isn't called beware of sentimentality because my dad had a hunger attack, it's because while he stopped at the store to pick up some munchies, I waited in the car. And while waiting, a small girl, around half my height, with a dirty, muck-covered face and wearing raggety clothes, comes up to the car and starts tapping on the window. It's a usual sight in India, I know, but this time it was different, this time I felt different. The kid and the way she talked and the way she tried to coax me, it felt funny. Behind her, on the footpath I could see her mother and two other small infants clinging to the woman, but this child was consistent. I can almost still hear her cries of "Oh Didi, thoda doodh pilado, oh didii" still bouncing around in my head. Literally translating that would mean Oh big sister, please feed me some milk, but sounds pretty wrong in English =/. She topped it off by saying "Badi duayen milengi", meaning that I would get a lot of good wishes. Just from those few bare and simple words, I came to weirdly big conclusions.
That girl was smart. She was only around 8 or 9 years old and she still knew how to talk convincingly. She seemed to have so much potential, so much wasted potential. Maybe it was just me overreacting to that one incident, but I felt almost as if I had to do something. She definitely isn't the only one in India suffering in blasphemous poverty, it wasn't even her fault that she was born in an underprivileged household, so why can't we all somehow make a collective effort to make the future of our India, these children, no matter how poor, a bright one? Why must poverty make a child of that age beg for food, food that she has an equal right on as all of us do? Yep, sounds clichéd, but it's only so clichéd cuz it's true. India as a whole is still in a sorry state. There is much to be done, and each one of us makes a difference. I know I will.

Be my little rock and roll queen.

That song is so addictive. British rock is so distinctive. I like <3. Yeah. Anyway, I saw this movie called Wicked, and it wasn't that stupid musical Wicked with the horrible OST. Weird movie, it bordered on incest and was about murder. I liked it. It has Julia Stiles and she's done a pretty good job. Oh and I downloaded the soundtrack, mainly gothic rock, and discovered this band called Jack off Jill. Haha, funny name, but good songs yeah, especially Rabitteen.
Nothing special happened today - surprise, surprise. I have to give in a huge 4000 word essay and it's so fucking horrible that everytime I even try and sit to do it..well, I don't.
Fight club and Forrest Gump are my two favourite movies <3. So is The Notebook. They have amazing quotes too ^_^. Weird how this post is so movie oriented. Goes to show how there's just nothing happening in my oh-so-exciting life. Ok, adios now. The essay beckons, along with my want to sleep.

So this was going to go up on my other blog..

But that would just take the feel of what I write otherwise away, so the perfect solution's so post it here. Why post it at all? Cuz I didn't want to delete it :(.

It's not you, it could never be.
It was me.
You've heard this more often,
A lot, I guess.
Everyone says it but fuck this poem.
-TURNS UP THE BASS-
-HEADBANGS THE FUCK OUTTA HERE-

:) Yeah. I suck. But I LOVE apple juice and friends. Especially together. Ooh and since we're making things so good, you could throw in some popcorn too.

Ok. Bye.

I could totally beat that with a baseball bat.

Heh, funny song that. Sooo, life goes round and round in repetitive circles right? But what if it was in squares? Haha the faster you'd go, the more the chances of banging against a side. In fact, what if life was a square house with windows. You could trip and fall right out of the window...and meet a squished death. And if heaven existed, you could even turn up there looking like a pancake, a blood pancake that is. That has no relevance to anything at all. Unless you're planning someone's murder. I swear I'm not. Really!
Today I was gifted this turquoise shirt. It's nice, but I'm going to flick mum's white one. Why does she get white? She shouldn't get white. I should get white. It'll look better on me anyway.
Ooh, irrelevant conversation time.
Person: I knew you were going to say that!
Me: Ooh, you're stupid AND psychic ^_^
Person: That combination gets all the chicks.
Me: Haha. Read my mind. You'll know the next reality I'm going to point out to you.
Person: Shoot.
Me: Can't read it?
Person: I sure can.
Me: What does it say?
Person: ""You don't get any, jackass!"
Me: =] we're done for today folks. That's lesson #1 in making someone insult themselves ^_^
I'm bored. And my parents are out for the night. They've gone down south and are staying in Taj. Without me. Not that I mind. It's just that I have to stay at home and work.
I hate mosquitoes. Right so my ADD is in fast drive today. But I really hate mosquitoes. They buzz around aimlessly and suck blood out of me without my permission, not that I would give it anyway.
Dawson's creek time! I'm going to go waste my time doing exactly what I'm not supposed to be doing.
Byebye.

It's Sunday the 13th. The holiest day of them all.

So, today is someone special's birthday. A few days ago, I was officially married (yep, facebook now authorises marriages) to someone who I've known practically all my life. Beautiful story isn't it? ^_^ Here come the controversial complications - my husband is a she. A really hot one I might add. May her hotness prevail till the end of time, though it's really not going to happen cuz soon you'll be sagging just like the rest of our generation.
Ah well, let's be nice for today :D. I love you! And I will always be there for you. Oooh, so sentimental. I'm going to make this simpler for myself and break it down in the form of a list of things I like about you, we'll leave the things I don't like for later, and out of public eyes too.

1. I love the way you're always accepting of anything and everything I say.
2. I love you being open to me about everything and expecting the same from me.
3. I love how good you are in bed. (I had to say that, you know I had to :P.)
4. I love laughing at you. Haha, and the fact that even after ALL these years you still haven't gotten over that one guy who's pretty butt ugly and you just don't seem to get it.
5. I love myself. Wait, this list was about you right? Oh yeah.
6. I love your taste. Well, I like it. You don't like ultra flashy ghaati clothing and accessories like most of the frightening delhi aunties do. You know? The one's with the glaring red lipstick and flashy gold everywhere.
7. I love the way I can point out the fact that you say "much" so much.
8. I love you asking me for the solutions to your problems.
9. I love saying crap. In general actually, but to you too :D.
10. I love you. For you. As you.

:). I hope that suffices for this year. And at the end of this self-proclaimedamazing post, I'm going to have to ask you to exempt me from sending you something in the post - please? This girl is pressurized with a lot of other crap to do. Yay. So, Happy Birthday <3.

Pasta treat feels nice, especially when its cold.

And that above title leads me to the concept of relativity. No, nothing as daringly complicated as something that Einstein would come up with, just that I would hate eating pasta treat during a hot summer day. Even the thought of it makes me want to puke. Mind you, I love pasta treat, but something hot and fuzzy going down my guts when the temperature's horribly high could just take my huuuge, always-existent appetite away. So why would I write a blog on this? For the same reason that society has norms, that is, no reason whatsoever.
I just finished the entire bowl of my yummy, ultra fattening treat and I love it even more today cuz it's the only thing that I can pass through my mouth that won't make my teeth feel like they're being pulled apart by the force of a thousand mountains. Ow. That confession just made them hurt a tad bit more. To think it could get worse. Bummer.
So, that's all folks.
Oh wait. Did I mention that people look horrible with oily hair? Especially on a lazy sunday when they get up from a long sleep to find that the oil has permanently fixated their hair into the funniest version of a mohawk ever known to man.
Hmm so yeah, I'll share with you my lesson learnt for today - don't ever go to sleep with your hair oiled, or even better, don't use oil despite what your hair specialist, or mum, says.
This rant is now over.

Poke #2. It's late. And there's no more coffee.

So here I am, once again, in the span of a few hours, but it still qualifies as the next day so you CANNOT call me obsessive. Or so I'd like to believe.
The reason I'm here, is to finally confess something that I've done a lot openly, but just penning it down makes it more official ^_^.
I love..Calvin. Yep, from his pretentious superficiality of knowing almost everything to his excessive use of eloquent verbose. That little chipmunk is the cutest creature on earth. If you don't know what I'm talking about, you honestly do not deserve to read this. The cross sign above on the right corner of your screen is just waiting to be clicked, do it, before I explode, which I actually won't cuz..I won't even know if you're here reading this, which if you do, you should comment so that I do know that you're here. Life has circles. Yes :].
So getting back to the initial point, I want a little brother like Calvin. So I can squeeze him and throw him around and make him clean my room, and hear his crazy mutterings and point and laugh at his adorableness. Overdose much? Yeah. Apologies. He's just..the most lovable, littlest monster I know. And he's mine. All mine!
And that's all. I should drink coffee and stop sounding so strange. Hmm.
Byebye.

Poke. It's pretty powerful, really!

Another day of complete and total idleness. The IB does that to you - piles you with such a colossal mass of work that at the end of it, you collapse and throw it all away for later, a later which pounces back at you with much more force than it ever already was.
So I was sitting at home today right, not like that wasn't clear enough already, and my teeth start to hurt. I just got my lower braces fixed on. Pretty much synonymous to a nightmare. I couldn't even eat the darn chicken roll that mum got for me =[. What's the bet she had evil ulterior motives. Parents like doing that, torture I mean, of any kind at that. I'm like their not-so-little punching bag ^_^. Cute huh? As cute as a bruised and toothless beaten up kid could look anyway.
Hmm, teeth - check, chicken roll - check, loads of crappy assignments - check. Yep that about covers my entire uneventful day. Besides rigorous math. God I need a life. I need to get off this thing. That goes for the first post of random blabberings on this blog.
See you in a bit. Tomorrow? Maybe today, if I get too bored and decide to blabber some more :).
Until then.
Loves,
Me.