For the Widows in Paradise - Sufjan Stevens

Yep, I'm in that mood. The one where you sit alone, in your own company, thinking just to yourself, about yourself. The one where you put a song on repeat for at least an hour and listen to it till you become one with every tune the song expresses, one with the words, one with the music, till you don't feel yourself anymore, you're just lost in each chord, each rhyme and then maybe somewhere along the way you find peace. I'm annoyed at the uneasiness in me. It doesn't make sense, I don't even know the reason why, even though I always do, I always know what's bothering me..I can always even conjecture..but now, there's nothing..no thoughts that could even do it. It could be the exams but I know it's not..it's something more than that. It's this restlessness in me that's dying to lash out at something, but at the same time it's smothering itself - almost like a cycle, the more I smother it the harder it lashes at me. God am I even making sense? I don't think so..
Fuck all that. So what song is it that's soothing me down? This one..and I know I can go on sitting here, just listening, forever.

"I have called you children
I have called you son
What is there to answer
If I'm the only one
Morning comes in paradise
Morning comes in light
Still I must obey
Still I must invite

If there's anything to say
If there's anything to do
If there's any other way
I'll do anything for you

I was dressed embarrassment
I was dressed in wine
If you had a part of me
Will you take your time?
Even if I come back
Even if I die
Is there some idea
To replace my life

Like a father to impress
Like a mothers morning dress
If I ever make a mess
I'll do anything for you

I have you called you preacher
I have called you son
If you have a father
Or if you haven't one

I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you

I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you.."

You have to listen to it to really know what I mean..
<3.