Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Rooftops - Lost Prophets

I feel nostalgic when I listen to this song. It reminds me of leaving this school. It's been a good five years, and now it's time to say goodbye. Actually, I've already said goodbye. Graduation was on Sunday night. It was pretty nice. No regrets, just looove. Haha, yeah soppy-ish.
Now I'm sitting at Urvi's place. I've been seeing way too much of it lately. In the evening we run away to Harish's place for his mini social birthday gathering. Hmm. They probably won't have alcohol. We were at Make N' Bake! Haha, we started off by nicely painting this beer mug, and ended up messing it up so bad! Haha, it looked like shit with random words pasted all over it. We corrupted the mug. Hah. More like I did. Bah well. I'm stuffed. And my tummy is HUGE. It's like I'm pregnant. It's weird sitting here alone with Urvi away. I'm in her house without her around. And her mum's currently pissed. In general. Which doesn't help. Bah.
Anywho :) with exams over I have loads of plans and I will follow them. I hope. Considering there're almost 3 months of NOTHINGNESS, I really have to plan something for myself or sit idle the entire day. I will cleanup drive! :D Hah, more on that later.
Hmm, I didn't have much fun writing this post. Maybe cuz I'm out of practice. I don't have broadband in the new house in Kharghar :(. But I do have my own address and entrance and exit from the appartment. Yay!
Ok now I'm gna go read shitty Meg Cabot chick lit. Adieu ^_^.

Thursday, May 22, 2008

ARGH.

I hate them both, I cannot believe they'd make me cry so much. Wtf is with this shit man! It's like they're doing this on purpose just to get "back" at me. And then they top it off with "I love youuu" awww, fuck you. God. It's just a bunch of keys! For bloody convenience sake! And it sucks to see that someone can be so untrusted. I can't WAIT to get out of this hellhole. Be it hong kong or any fucking where in this world, I just wanna get the fuck away. I HATE THEM! No matter what I do for them, just cuz they speak louder and fuss MUCH MORE about what they sacrifice doesn't mean that everything I do, quietly, for them should just be ignored. How fucking retarded is this?! And it's worse to have weird tears just streaming down my face. It makes my face go REDDER and I look so stupid! God I feel suffocated. And horrible. And that too on the first day that I don't have any exams to be pissed off with. Why thank you very much for nothing you bitches.

Friday, May 16, 2008

You are the moon, by The Hush Sound

"Shadows all around you as you surface from the dark
Emerging from the gentle grip of night's unfolding arms
Darkness, darkness everywhere, do you feel all alone?
The subtle grace of gravity, the heavy weight of stone..

You don't see what you possess, a beauty calm and clear
It floods the sky and blurs the darkness like a chandelier
All the light that you possess is skewed by lakes and seas
The shattered surface, so imperfect, is all that you believe..

I will bring a mirror, so silver, so exact
So precise and so pristine, a perfect pane of glass
I will set the mirror up to face the blackened sky
You will see your beauty every moment that you rise."

It says so much in just so much. It's perfect. Just the lyrics, in themselves, they're just..perfect.

Exam weekends suck

Sometimes the easiest way out is to deny everything, even to yourself..
That's so true.
But I'm going to step out of it.
And the expecting nothing, being happy with everything quasi-resolution's working out. And I like it. I will be that way. It's peaceful. And stops internal conflicts.
Though there are some holes in it, I'll cork them up though. Nope, I won't let you get me. *pokes tongue*
French got over today. Paper 1 was nice, paper 2 was much much better, hopefully it'll pull up my grade and make up for my shitty orals.
Ok that's all! Byea.

Thursday, May 15, 2008

"Say what you need to say.."

Biology, English and Chemistry are over for a long long time now.
I will miss them v_v.
They went ok, but English wasn't as nice as I'd want it to be. Chemistry wasn't quite there either. But Biology was pretty good. May the forces of the world come together to get me my 38/42. I want. I want. I waaaaaaaaaant. Please? PLEASE?! Please :(.
Bah. I'm going against my principles. If I want it, I will get it. Me. Only me. Just ME! I must.
Tomorrow is french. *crosses fingers* And then follows Math Paper 3, I hate options, and then Physics HL..all three papers in two damn squeezed up days. *blink, blink* I'm dead meat. Must worrrrk.
Song of the day is Say by John Mayor. I wanna watch The Bucket List. It's the OST of the movie. The lyrics are pretty, they're..overcoming, with a nice repetitive touch to them. Bleh.
Enough. Must go now.

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Yaaaack.

Dad is annoying, he's making issues out of nothing.
Just either fucking pay, or don't.
Why drag it on like a fucking wheelbarrowing, trying-hard-to-be-diplomatic, "oh-you're-an-adult-now" annoying two faced @$#@#%!%#!
It's your fucking money man.
You bloody well decide.
Stupid shit.

Monday, May 12, 2008

I have decided..

to be an all forgiving and all loving person :D. I will not expect anything, but I will be pretty damn happy about what I get. It's quite the revelation. Haha, let's see how long this quasi-resolution of mine lasts, it's probably going to last as long as this random good mood does.
It's funny how sometimes you get so conditioned to the good things about yourself that you forget they're even there. That's not a good thing. I must stop doing that. "Nobooody said it was easy, no one ever said it would be this hard, I'll take you back to the stars (8)" Yay, my iTunes has good timing! It's much simpler than we make it to be though, no matter what Coldplay says, all you have to do is tryyyyy. I love songs.
Oh and english today was shit btw, I wrote like one of them drugged poets. And the fact that all I wanted to do was go to sleep didn't help either. BUT it wasn't as bad and tragic as it could have been. Oh well, I'm definitely not counting on a 7. Next up is Biology, I hope that's a cruise though I've been a bit over confident about it. I must go study now. Byebye.

Friday, May 9, 2008

It's been..

..a week of exams. Today was chemistry options, and yayy, I guess the all-nighter did pay off :). I knew everythiiing ^_^.
I like papers like that, they didn't even ask the stupid complicated equations with numbers all over the place and stupid elements turning to radicals and alkjdalsjdsoirsadjf.
Ahh well, this is temporary peace. Next up is Eng Lit, and Bio and French, but they're ok. The eeeevil ones are a week after. Pure math and physics! >_<
Besides the exams, I love Grey's Anatomy and Across the Universe and at the rate I'm going I'm never getting over themmmm.
My grandma's being a pain in the ass too. Haww, oh well, must learn to deal. Or avoid. She just ends up following me around everywhere. From room to room. She's leechy. I love her and all that, but blehhh.
I like coke.
I slept for 8 hours in the day instead of the night before the exam.
There is keema for dinner. Times aren't that rough.
I will get through these exams..
somehow.
*poofles*

Thursday, May 8, 2008

So far..

Around 5 papers done, but no complete subject's over yet.
Tomorrow is chemistry options, and I is screwed :).
Exams are bitches. The end.

Sunday, May 4, 2008

For the Widows in Paradise - Sufjan Stevens

Yep, I'm in that mood. The one where you sit alone, in your own company, thinking just to yourself, about yourself. The one where you put a song on repeat for at least an hour and listen to it till you become one with every tune the song expresses, one with the words, one with the music, till you don't feel yourself anymore, you're just lost in each chord, each rhyme and then maybe somewhere along the way you find peace. I'm annoyed at the uneasiness in me. It doesn't make sense, I don't even know the reason why, even though I always do, I always know what's bothering me..I can always even conjecture..but now, there's nothing..no thoughts that could even do it. It could be the exams but I know it's not..it's something more than that. It's this restlessness in me that's dying to lash out at something, but at the same time it's smothering itself - almost like a cycle, the more I smother it the harder it lashes at me. God am I even making sense? I don't think so..
Fuck all that. So what song is it that's soothing me down? This one..and I know I can go on sitting here, just listening, forever.

"I have called you children
I have called you son
What is there to answer
If I'm the only one
Morning comes in paradise
Morning comes in light
Still I must obey
Still I must invite

If there's anything to say
If there's anything to do
If there's any other way
I'll do anything for you

I was dressed embarrassment
I was dressed in wine
If you had a part of me
Will you take your time?
Even if I come back
Even if I die
Is there some idea
To replace my life

Like a father to impress
Like a mothers morning dress
If I ever make a mess
I'll do anything for you

I have you called you preacher
I have called you son
If you have a father
Or if you haven't one

I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you
I'll do anything for you

I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you
I did everything for you.."

You have to listen to it to really know what I mean..
<3.