You gotta love Cyanide&Happiness <3

Episode One
RandomGuy: Hey Obese Maurice! How was your flight from Cancun?
FatDude: Terrible! They charged me for two seats, man!
RandomGuy: Are you serious? That's so unfair!
FatDude: =[ If I'd known hookers counted as people I wouldn't have even brought her with me!

Episode Two
LittleKid: Let's play the rhyming game, daddy!
LittleKid: Daddy, daddy, his head is so fat, it'll be years 'til his son's is like that!
TheDad: Actually son it won't happen at all, because from my semen you didn't evolve.
LittleKid: ........
TheDad: -smug-
LittleKid exits (and probably kills himself).
TheDad: -still smug-

hahaha. Yeah, that kinda thing tickles my funny bone. Along with a lot of other nonsensically mean crap :D.