Monday, March 2, 2015

Hi.

It's been more than a year since I've written. Aaaaaand ladies and gentlemen, we've long since established this trend. Let's get over the "she hasn't written in a while stuff", it is what it is.

The usual making up for lost time update: been in Toronto for almost 3 years, been to India three times since I've been here including the last time which was this December for 2 months (yeah long break mainly cuz of my best friends wedding, family time, grandparents and wanting to spend time with certain special people, did they deserve it? I don't know!), been in consulting for more than 2 years, worked on a variety of projects, met all kinds of people (many who I have come to love and many who I'd have a thing or two to say about) thinking of MBA soon (GMAT..GMAT?! GMAT!!! Aaahh!), got an upcoming family business (fingers crossed reaaaal tight), and have still not lost sight of wanting to do NGO work although I wish there was more of this going on in my life. I'd just like to believe that everything I'm doing right now will make me do better for myself, and therefore the good I want to do in the world.

Guess what brought me here this time? I was going through a few files and papers I have lying around in my room (I have new sheets, they're purrrty, and they add life to the previous black and white, classy, retro print thing I had going on), and I found a CD labeled with my name in my dad's extremely boxy handwriting (yes boxy handwriting, you have to see it to know what I mean, it's like no other handwriting I've ever seen in my life).

So I open up this CD, put it into my laptop and start watching. I saw baby videos of myself for the first time. It was amazing. No, I'm not being immodest, I was not impressed by myself as a baby (although I was keeyooot), moreover my thoughts just went a long way back to when I had the safety of parents coo-ing and loving all around me. Every drip and drop of their voices throughout the video of baby me reminded me of the comforts of home, of being surrounded by love. It made me come back here and write to relieve a lot of the pent up thought in the way I know best. Write.

Living by yourself in a country you are still not able to accept 100% as yours takes a lot to do. I've been here since June of 2012 and if anything, it's been a whirlwind, and it's been testing in many times, but it's also been fruitful (especially considering I have now discovered fruits I did not remotely think of trying before - dragonfruit, which looks nothing like a dragon, mammoth sizes strawberries and white nectarines, which oh my GOD are the perfect mix between apples and peaches - perfectly crunchy and sweet).

I like having the confidence that living in a city by myself gives me. Yeah, you can't touch this! *insert cool and self confident mixed with a touch of self deprecation face* Lol, it's nice to own your own life, financials and all that jazz. But HOME. Yknow that fuzzy feeling of just knowing where you belong? Yeah, not quite kicked in. And don't even get me started on love. There's the home love, and then there's the romantic love. Things can sometimes feel even more twisted when you throw that into the mix. I always used to think, no wayyyy am I going to let love get in the way of things I wanna do with my life, but who knew it had a mind of its own? Who knew! Hah, Ankita got jumped.

Oo, have I mentioned I've been tripping on watching Gilmore Girls? I luuuurv the show, and I'm sure if the show was a person it would tell me it loves me RIGHT back! There's so much in it I can relate to, which is I'm sure something all girls say, but I'd like to believe the parallels for me are more :P

Also, house of cards has released! But I'd rather wait and savor watching it instead of binge watching and ruining it for myself.

Ooooooo and also, I'm obsessed with the game Words Against Friends. So many funziiiies. Lol, it's basically scrabble. Just funner cuz I can take my own sweet time and cheat by looking up wordfind.com mwahaha (shh don't tell anyone, and if you happen to be someone I'm playing with then, ermm don't believe the above lines, they were only put there so that I could sound all badass, I'm really lying - I can't cheat to save my life, O THE GUILT, I could. not. take. IT!)

What else can I put down here? Have I mentioned my complete lack of pushing myself to study for GMAT? Have I? Well here it goes: no matter what I do, I just cannot get myself to sit down at that goddamn desk in my room (which by the way I took from my roommate's room and moved all the way to mine after moving the bed and making space for it - yes so much effort for nothing) and study for GMAT.

I'd love to travel through my MBA. Go to a whole other city. I've done Toronto, I've seen as much of it as I can. I want to go to a totally different city and conquer it on my terms - again. But sometimes, there might be other things on the line that keep you waiting (yes this is where I go purposely obscure about what I'm talking about :P), but I hope it's worth the wait. Stay tuned for more on what I'm waiting for.

While I start to say gbye (yeah saying bye isn't a nice feeling, no wonder auntyjis and unclejis at Indian weddings prolong their goodbyes for aaaages, literally it needs strategic planning almost to the point of size of the event x number of people you know x 5 minutes each + 20 minutes buffer time to try to plan to get out of a place), I will let you guys know that I have taken it upon myself to sleep with a total of around 12 GMAT books, and 10 GMAT booklets in the hope that even though I ignore the desk, somehow all of that information and logical analysis will seep right through the sheets and into my head as I sleep. Sleeping with the enemy? Sleeping with the fish? Nuh uhhhhh, she sleeps with them books.

Okay, BYE!

No comments: