Venting. Venting. VENTING!

OH GOD! People need to understand that I'm not always just a smiling face. No, there are parts of me that nobody understands well enough. Yeah, the first impression may be misleading..another happy, self-confident person, but behind that there are insecurities that I'm just beginning to realise. No, it's not some enlightening nirvana-obtaining crap, it's everything happening around me. I try so hard to just be..happy. But everytime I am, there's just something else that I lack that comes jumping back at me, taking it all away. Ofcourse I have my moments of absolute bliss, but why can't they be permanent? People moving away, self-motivation, people misunderstanding anything you say, inability to express yourself properly. It's all such a fucking mess. I wish everything would just stand still for a while so that when the next thing comes my way, I'm standing straight rather than just picking myself up. Or rather, I wish people would just take me as I am, incomparable, not point out everything wrong and just see the part of my glass that's full, and maybe just find..that when they look hard enough, it's not just full, it's full to the brim.